Dear you,

I went out with the other boys today. As usual, being the only girl, I became the target of their ridicule. In topic, of course you. They kept bringing you up, trying to link us together *CUE "WHAT'S NEW"*, trying to force it out of me to admit that we've been texting, asking when are you coming back (I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHEN). Obviously I tried to deny everything though I have no good reason to do so. It's not because I feel something for you, I just sorta want to keep what we have between us a secret. It's rather nice this way. 

I miss seeing your name on my phone. Receiving your texts, poking fun at you. Hearing about your day, everything that happened to you and around you. Listening to you rant at how you are always asked to do stuffs. Our favourite team's playing today, the 2nd time since you left the country. I miss telling you the scores after each game you demanding me to tell you the scores after the game and even though I always tell you no, I still do after the game. [btw, we won both games!!!]

I regret not telling you what I really wanted to say the night you left. Y'know, I haven't felt this way in a long time, holding back to myself. I typed it out, deleted it, typed it again, and still didn't have the courage to send it to you. It was genuine. I really wanted you to be safe and take care of yourself. I just didn't know how to phrase it so that you would think it's purely friendship. But it's something so simple, a friend telling a friend to be safe,  yet it's difficult this time round.

I miss you......there, I said it. It's been so long, way too long. WILL YOU HURRY UP AND COME BACK HOME ALREADY????? :-(

Will you still be my friend when you know how weird I am inside?

• I am OBSESSIVE about my handwriting, it has to be to my liking if not I'll keep erasing it away and writing it over again no matter how many times it takes me to deem it as ok. Because of this, my friends in sec sch say I have OCD.

• I arrange my stuff in certain ways to make it neat. No matter how many times I tell myself it's ok to be messy, I still can't do it. I get very very very frustrated when I see things in places they don't belong to.

• I eat my stuffs in a certain way. Notably burgers/sandwiches and stuff like that. I have no idea how to explain it, you gotta see it for yourself.

• I have to fold my clothes ALL in the same way. It can't be different if not I will refold it to how I like it. I get annoyed when my hangers go missing. Rly annoyed. I only don't fold my clothes when I have a huge bag to dump things into or when I'm rly lazy.

• I arrange my pillows and bolsters around me on my bed like a fort. It has to be the same way all day, everyday. 

• I arrange my Archie comics according to the different series and then according to ascending serial numbers. All 200 or 300 of them I own.

• I have an inferiority complex. I always think I'm not good enough, not pretty enough, not suitable for society. Too much Tumblr. I even think I'm socially awkward. Not to mention I have too many good-looking friends. 

• I have this issue with the things I bake or cook. I always think it won't taste good. I always think it won't come out perfect. Tried baking cookies ystd and got so upset when I packed them into the containers too early and they ended up stuck to one another and crumbled.

• I tie my shoelaces in a specific way. On the right shoe, the right lace has to go over the left lace and vice versa on the left shoe. Tried doing the same on my ankle braces but it didn't work out and I couldn't be bothered.

I'm such a weird kid. The thing is, when I mention this to my mom, she thinks I'm just thinking too much. What if I get analyzed by someone professional about this and it turns out I have a mental issue that I don't know of all these while?

I'll add to the list when I think of more. 

Anyone still wants to be my friend? :-(

I've been offered a wonderful job opportunity for 10 months till next April and I have so much conflicting thoughts about it. The pay's good ($1.7k/month), just not sure whether I'm suitable for the job. But if I don't try, I won't know right? Besides, it'll probably be a stepping stone for me in the industry after I complete uni, knowing how I want to stay in the sports industry. Which poly graduate gets offered $1.7k/month just after graduation? If I take it up, it means lesser time to work at Boost since it's office hours (9-5) and that means I probably can't work on weeknights unless maybe I can figure something out. I don't know if I rly am the person for the job. How how how. Huge dilemma. Have to give the answer later in the day and I still haven't made up my mind. The money from this job could go into uni fees, travelling, so much more. I don't want to reject the job and then regret later (which is something I do ALL THE TIME).


Someone help me?